Conscious Living: Escaping the Autopilot Trap

Posted by & filed under Advice, Blog, Motivating.

I ran a corporate workshop to a lovely team a couple of weeks ago helping them to create their vision for their life and getting clear on what their motivations and goals were. In the workshop, we talked about what it means to escape the autopilot trap and live more intentionally instead. I thought it would make an interesting blog so here it is.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get swept away by the whirlwind of daily life. Many of us find ourselves stuck on autopilot, cruising through routines, and reacting to situations without much thought. But what if I told you that there’s another way? Living intentionally is all about seizing the reins of your life and creating the future you desire. In this blog, we’re diving into the nitty-gritty of these two lifestyles and how you can make the shift from autopilot to a life that’s filled with purpose and meaning.

Autopilot Living: What Does It Mean?

Picture this: you wake up, follow your daily routine, and continue on the same path without ever questioning it. You’re living life by default, making choices based on societal expectations, and neglecting your personal goals. Here’s a glimpse of what autopilot living looks like:

Rigid Routine: Your daily schedule is set in stone, even if it’s no longer fulfilling or productive.

Societal Expectations: You’re heavily influenced by what society expects of you, rather than pursuing your passions.

Lack of Self-Reflection: You don’t spare a moment to ponder your goals, dreams, or where your life is headed.

Comfort Zone: Autopilot living keeps you within your comfort zone, where growth and change seem far away.

Missed Opportunities: You’re not actively seeking new opportunities, personally or professionally, and you might miss out on some amazing experiences.

Living Intentionally: What Does It Mean?

Now, imagine taking charge of your life with purpose and mindfulness. Living intentionally means setting clear goals, making choices that align with your values, and deliberately crafting the life you desire. Here’s what intentional living is all about:

Setting Goals: You have personal and professional goals, giving you a sense of direction and purpose.

Conscious Decisions: Your choices regarding relationships, career, and other aspects of your life are made with intention, guided by your values and aspirations.

Self-Reflection: Regularly, you take time to look within, understanding your motivations, recognising areas for growth, and making necessary adjustments.

Values Alignment: Living intentionally means living in harmony with your core values, resulting in a more satisfying and meaningful life.

Cultivating Self-Awareness

So, how do you make the shift from autopilot to intentional living? It all starts with self-awareness. It’s like waking up from a dream and realising you’re in control of your life. Here are some scenarios where you might spot autopilot living:

Ever walked into a room with a purpose, only to forget why you’re there the moment you step inside?
Intended to send a quick message on social media and found yourself scrolling mindlessly for an hour?
Realised you’ve been in a conversation but haven’t really been listening to the other person?
Stared into space as your thoughts wandered aimlessly?
Completely blanked on names, or the events of the day or week?
Said ‘yes’ to something when ‘no’ was what you really wanted, just because it seemed easier?
Followed a morning routine without much thought, immediately reaching for your phone upon waking?
Performed routine work tasks without questioning them, even if they stifled your creativity and productivity?
Allowed habits or addictive behaviours to control you, such as smoking, overeating, or excessive phone use as a response to stress or boredom?
Drifted through life without setting clear goals or actively planning for the future, leading to a lack of direction and fulfilment?
Reacted to criticism with anger or defensiveness without giving it much thought?

In summary

The choice between autopilot living and living intentionally is a choice between letting life happen to you and actively shaping it according to your vision. The journey from autopilot to intentional living begins with self-awareness and a commitment to align your choices with your values and goals. By taking deliberate actions and nurturing mindfulness, you can cultivate a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Imagine being the author of your story, not just a passive character. It’s time to escape the autopilot trap and start living with purpose and intention. Your future self will thank you for it!

If you or your team are interested in the workshop I mentioned, get in touch to find out more.

You can also access my free Mindset mastery workshop here aimed at helping you create a mindset that empowers you to live the life you desire.

 

International Women’s Day – As a female business owner and entrepreneur

Posted by & filed under Blog, Uncategorised.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges that women still face in the business world. Despite progress towards gender equality, only one in three entrepreneurs in the UK are female. Additionally, research shows that female-led businesses are, on average, around 25% smaller than those led by men.

However, it’s also important to recognise the potential for positive change. Research conducted by McKinsey & Co has found that companies with greater diversity in their executive teams are more likely to outperform their peers on profitability and create superior value. This highlights the importance of ensuring that women have equal opportunities and representation in leadership positions.

As a female business owner and entrepreneur, I know first-hand the dedication and challenging work required to sustain a business. I’m sharing some of the biggest lessons I’ve learnt (sometimes I’ve had to learn the hard way) that have really helped me. I hope they help any female business owners, entrepreneurs or those aspiring to be too.

• Believe in yourself: Work on your mindset and your confidence in your abilities and believe that you can achieve your dreams. Don’t let self-doubt hold you back.

• Seek out mentors: Find mentors who can offer guidance and support as you navigate the business world. Look for women who have experience in your industry and can offer advice and help you make connections.

• Build a strong network: Attend events, join groups and organisations, and connect with other women in your industry.

• Embrace failure: Failure is part of the journey to success. Don’t be afraid to take risks and learn from your mistakes.

• Prioritise self-care: Running a business can be stressful and demanding. It’s important to prioritise self-care to avoid burnout and maintain your physical and mental health.

• Advocate for yourself: Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and ask for what you deserve. Whether it’s negotiating a contract or asking for funding, advocating for yourself is essential to achieving your dreams and goals.

On this International Women’s Day, let us celebrate the achievements of women, but also continue to work towards a more equitable and inclusive future for all.

Lema Redjep | Founder / Head of Wellbeing / Internal Coach

 

New Year’s Resolutions don’t work. Try this instead

Posted by & filed under Advice, Blog, Uncategorised.

A great way to do this is to either visualise the life you want to create for yourself in the coming year. Get really detailed about everything that matters to you—from your relationships to your health, career, lifestyle, and finances. Or, if you prefer, you can write it all out instead.

Once you have your vision, you can set specific goals in the areas of your life that are most important to you. Then ask yourself: What are the most important actions that I need to accomplish in each of these areas to make this vision real?

So, for example, if you have decided you want to save more money in 2023, think about why. What will those additional savings provide for you? Maybe it will give you security, which may be one of your values. Maybe it’s to travel to see family abroad more often —which helps support values like family and connection. Whatever your motivation is, it’s never just about the money itself.  The underlying priorities, like in this case, being able to feel more secure, or being able to spend more time with family can keep you motivated to take the steps you need—like reducing your spending, or taking on additional work for extra income—to be able to set more money aside.

  1. Create an action plan

One reason that resolutions often fail is because they’re too vague or aren’t accompanied by a specific timeline or an action plan to achieve them.

Use a SMART goal-setting approach that is: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

So, for example, instead of just resolving to lose weight, set a specific and realistic weight loss goal over a certain period of time. Or break it down into smaller targets like pounds lost per month and then outline the actions you’ll take to reach them—whether it’s committing to exercising daily or making specific changes to your diet, or both.

Also, look at what’s already working and then build on that.  So, for example, if you’ve already started taking regular walks, increasing their duration or frequency is an easy way to burn more calories and help you reach a weight loss goal.

  1. Get yourself an accountability partner

Various studies show that having someone who will help hold you accountable can make a significant difference. So, ask a friend, or family member if you can share your weekly progress.

  1. Celebrate small wins

Finally, don’t forget to celebrate any small wins or victories.  The journey to accomplishing our goals is not always an easy one and it can be easy to focus on all the things that aren’t going well when we’re having an off day which can lead to feeling down and demotivated.

Celebrating small wins can help give you more energy, boost motivation, and may also give you more confidence and help with coping during tough times.

Hopefully, this has given you some motivation to look at new year’s resolutions and goal setting differently. I’d love to know whether you’ll be implementing any of these tips.

For additional support, feel free to get in contact to find out the many ways you can work with me.

Coping with fear and anxiety as we come out of Lockdown

Posted by & filed under Advice, Blog.

For many of us, the easing of lockdown brings long overdue opportunities to see friends and family, play sports, get back to work and resume activities we’ve had to put on hold.  And even though we may, for the best part, be happy about things returning to a bit of normality, there may be other things making us feel anxious.

For many others, the prospect of coming out of lockdown when there is still so much debate about whether it’s a good idea, is affecting people’s mental health.

Every persons’ situation is unique to them, but it can be very stressful and draining managing all the uncertainty.

Fear and anxiety are very common responses when faced with change and uncertainty. Don’t beat yourself up for the way you’re feeling.  Instead, acknowledge how you feel, know you’re not alone and as is the case with everything, this too will pass.  It always does.

 

Tips on coping with fear and anxiety

In the meantime, you may find these suggestions helpful to ease your anxiety as things continue to return to normal.

 

Focus on what you can control – worrying about things you can’t control causes more stress.  Start by writing down all the things you can control and all the things you can’t. This will start to bring some awareness to whether your thoughts and emotions are based on things within your control or outside your control.   For example, you can’t control what debates are happening in the media, but you can control how much time you spend watching the news and choose to keep it to a minimum if it’s making you feel anxious.

Then whenever you notice your mind going into overdrive, ask yourself “is this within my control or outside my control?” If it’s not within your control, what can you choose to do that is within your control instead?  For example, if you’re out of work, you can’t control when you’ll find a job, but you can control your ability to give yourself the best chance i.e. updating your CV, applying for jobs and following up on any applications.

 

Ask for help – know you’re not the only person feeling like this.  You may feel like a weight has lifted if you speak to someone or get some support.  Also, many workplaces are allowing flexible working even if people are returning to their usual place of work.  Speak to your manager if your work is being affected by fear or anxiety as they may be able to provide additional support.

 

Breathe – sometimes it can all feel overwhelming with so much change frequently happening,  a good way to bring your attention back to the present is to focus on your breathing. Taking nice steady breaths in through your nose for a count of six seconds and out through your mouth for six seconds.  Continue for a few minutes or until you’re feeling more relaxed.

 

Gratitude – writing down 5-10 things that you’re grateful for every day is a nice way to focus your attention on something positive rather than dwelling on all the negativities.  Studies have found that it lowers stress and can improve your sleep too. Notice whether you personally did anything well that day too and jot it down as a way of congratulating yourself.

 

Self-care – whether self-care for you is exercise, reading a book, going out for dinner, or catching up with a friend, getting clear on what’s important to you and making time for it can really help to ease any stress and anxiety you may be experiencing.

What makes you feel good about yourself?   When are those times when you’re feeling most energised and what can you do less of to give you the time to do more of what makes you feel good?

Make it a priority and schedule it into your diary will mean you’re more likely to do it.

 

Hopefully, that’s given you some food for thought during these uncertain times that we’re living in, but remember that as with everything, it always passes, and this too will pass.  It always does.

How to manage stress at work

Posted by & filed under Advice, Blog.

What is stress?

Stress – is your body’s response to pressures from a situation or a life event.  This could be pressure at work, money worries, relationship difficulties or it could be when you experience something new or unexpected or feeling you have little control over a situation.

Flight or Fight response

When we encounter stress, our body is stimulated to produce stress hormones that trigger a ‘flight or fight’ response and activate our immune system.

Stress can cause your brain to seize up at the worst possible times such as during exams, job interviews or public speaking for example.

Life and death situation

This is actually a survival mechanism and is there to protect you. If you’re faced with a life and death situation, instinct and subconscious impulse overwhelm rational thought and reasoning. This might keep you from being killed in an encounter with a tiger, but, in modern life, this is rarely helpful.

It negatively impacts virtually every cognitive skill you rely on to get through the day, including your ability to pay attention, remember, solve problems, make rational decisions, and think critically.

Your inability to think clearly or make decisions reduces your resilience which in turn increases your stress levels.

Heart Focused Breathing Technique

When you find yourself feeling stressed, take a step back, come away from the situation and try this simple technique to guide you to a state of ease in just a few minutes.

The technique is as powerful as it is simple and can be used anytime you want to create greater relaxation or more energy.

Here’s how you do it:

1 – Focus your attention on your heart area. Breathe a little deeper than normal, in for 5 or 6 seconds and out 5 or 6 seconds. You may find that placing your hand over your heart helps you maintain your focus there.

2 – Now imagine while breathing that you’re doing it through your heart. Picture yourself slowly breathing in and slowly breathing out through your heart area.

Doing this technique will help you reduce stress right in the moment, so the next time you find yourself in a difficult situation at work or away from the office, give it a try.

Should you find yourself stressed at work by a difficult boss, have a read of my blog 5 Managers from Hell – which is yours?

5 Managers from hell – which is yours?

Posted by & filed under Blog, Opinion.

What can an employee do to protect themselves? Here are some tips to assist you…

The Explosive Manager

Keep emotions to a minimum and stick to work issues. If your rage-aholic manager shouts at you, don’t shout back. Instead, maintain your professionalism and calmly deal with the situation.

When dealing with an angry or volatile manager, never confront her in an emotionally charged state. Remove yourself from the situation or remain silent. A good breathing technique to reduce your stress levels can be found in this blog How to Manage Stress at Work.

Then in a day or two, book a discussion with your manager on how her angry comments make you feel and affect your productivity. Documenting the incidents, in detail, and report abuse through the proper channels at work.

If your complaint falls on deaf ears, it’s time to look for another job. Staying in an environment with an explosive manager will only wear on your self-esteem and physical health. No job is worth that.

The Absent Manager

These managers are absent either physically or mentally. Unfortunately, in their absence, they often forget about their employees. You might not get the recognition you deserve, be forgotten when it’s time for a review, or just feel as if you are invisible.

With an absentee manager, your communication efforts are vital. You need to be assertive in your requests. Your manager may even be unaware of how her lack of direction impacts you; tell her. Set up periodic meetings, or updates to report on what you’ve accomplished. You must be proactive with this type of manager.

The Moody Manager

On Monday, he may be cheery and jovial. On Tuesday, he may come in quiet and sullen. By Friday, he’s barking orders at everyone he sees.

Resist the temptation to be defensive. Instead of saying, “Why are you treating me this way?” say, “You seem to be having a bad day”. This puts the negative emotion back on him. His moodiness is really about him, not you. Book in a meeting to discuss how his moods affect your work.

Whatever you do, do not suffer in silence: doing so will impact your physical and mental health. Working for someone like this creates a great deal of stress, consider transferring to another department if all your efforts to rectify this situation fails.

The Cowardly Manager

Usually, cowardly managers create a fairly dysfunctional office setting with their lack of leadership. The best way is to work with a cowardly manager, not against them. Ask open-ended questions to get input and write down what your manager says. Report on your accomplishment, based on their suggestions, and say “thanks”, this will help to boost their confidence as a manager. Bring up the success you experienced, in an office meeting, again singing the praises of your manager for their suggestions. This will in turn show you are on their side.

The Oversexed Manager

Sexual advances in the office not only makes for an uncomfortable situation, but it’s also illegal. Treating a subordinate in this way is abusing their position of power – it’s unacceptable. They think you won’t report them for fear of losing your job.

Document incidents from the beginning. Write down the date, time, where it happened and what exactly was said. Report what you’ve documented to HR and your managers supervisor. Always keep what you’ve documented at home, not in your desk at work. If colleagues have experienced the same treatment, and that’s usually the case, go in together. Know your rights, ask for an immediate transfer, or position where your manager won’t be above you any longer.

Managers are Human

We all come to work carrying our own baggage, it’s no different for managers. The key is knowing how to deal with them to protect yourself and your job.

If you find you are dealing with a situation which is affecting your mental or physical health, or general well-being, do what you can to network into another position in a different department, or right out that company’s door. No job is worth jeopardising your health and well-being.

Should things not improve at work, why not get in touch with one of our friendly consultants who will be only too pleased to assist you in finding you the right opportunity.